Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Imperfect.

It's taken me a long time to embrace imperfection. In fact I'm not even all the way there yet. It's something I've been working on over the last few months. Working on it through art journaling, painting, & phone journaling which is how I originally wrote this post. (notepad on my phone).

Most of my life I have felt imperfect. The problem was, I equated that with something bad. As it turns out, I was feeling bad for no reason. This is who I am. Quirky, awkward, me. I'm clumsy, I stumble over my own words, I have trouble forming a sentence...I pretty much appear to be an fumbling, bumbling idiot. (Thank you, motherhood)

Thankfully, the world wide interwebz has shown me that I am not alone in my ways on this world (duh). It took me finding this amazing group of women online, mainly through Instagram, to learn this. They showed me that it's okay to be messy & not perfect & what others think is ugly can be beautiful.

In the community that I live in this is not exactly embraced. Most people around here are fake. Fake looks, fake actions, fake words, fake lives. All lies. (Too much reality TV, perhaps?) Therefore, I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel. They hold an unrealistic view of life-unattainable perfection. They look ridiculous. I used to be one of them. No more, I say! I'm embracing something that I am sure to excel at...my own imperfection. I have never felt like I belonged here but I also cannot leave. (That is another story entirely.) Until then, I rely on my online people for inspiration & motivation & ideas.

Also, I have realized that I am not other artists that I admire. I love their work & draw constant inspiration from their beautiful art & words. I am attempting to be a more original in my art which is pretty difficult since all of the ideas on Earth have been thought of & executed.

I'm not a great blog writer. These are pretty much my scattered thoughts, noted as I birthed them and lightly edited. That's all I have for now. Many other half-written blog posts in the works.