Hi my name is Shalyn and I am a sentimental hoarder.
It's hard for me to just throw some things out and consider it a loss. Some of this may come from the teachings of my grandmother, who lived in England for World War II. Things were scarce and what they did have was rationed so they learned to keep everything they had just in case it was needed. She carried this mentality through her entire life and passed it on to her children. And her grandchildren.
Now I am faced with a massive mess that is affecting, not only me, but everyone in this house. We don't invite people over to visit because basically we can't even offer them a place to sit. We have places to sit. We just don't have extra spaces for other people to sit. Sad, I know. I long for the day when I can invite someone over for a cup of coffee and we can actually sit down at the kitchen table and enjoy it with some nice conversation. Or the day when my daughter can actually invite a friend over and I don't have to be embarrassed of my house because maybe the mom wants to come too! Aahhhhhh! And that is just completely out of the question. Speaking of the kitchen table, we don't usually eat at it. It is stacked high with art supplies, unfinished projects, homeschool things, old mail and other miscellaneous paperwork.
Every room in this house is filled to the brim with stuff. Stuff I have plans for, stuff I want to keep, stuff that needs to be packed away, stuff that I want to sell and a lot of stuff that I want to just toss out the window and never see again.
1) A lot of it has to do with my time constraints. With a 1 1/2 year old crafty toddler (and by crafty I mean quick and mischievous) It gets really difficult.
2) There are four people in this house making a huge mess. Do you want to guess how many people there are in this house that actually clean up? If you said one you are correct.
3) There are more important things than a clean house, right? Like spending time with the kids, cooking for my family, playing outside, homeschooling and taking field trips. It seems that we are always on the go, Which leaves little time for deep cleaning. I can get through the cooking, dishes, laundry, and other general every day clean ups, but any other cleaning that will make any sort of difference is difficult.
4) I find that there is a thin line between tossing things out/being wasteful and saving something to fix/mend. Do I really want to throw something out that is truly needed? Maybe something that just needs to be fixed but is replaceable? Will I need it in the near future? I really can't afford to be wasteful and throw out the things that will probably be used just to buy a new one later. But is that worth all the clutter? Where do I draw that line?
So have you wrapped your head around my crazy yet?
Okay so by now you are probably picturing an episode of Hoarders where things are actually stacked to the ceiling and the entire house is a safety hazard. It's not THAT bad. Yet.
The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? Yeah I admitted it along time ago, but here we are. Still sitting in a mess.
I know I am not alone here. I know there are other moms struggling with this.
I want to simplify.
I long for simplicity.
I actually dream of it.
But I don't see it any time in the near future.
And thats where the anxiety and depression come in. The feeling of failure.
And the never-ending, vicious circle.
I came across a post called "40 bags in 40 days". The title pretty much says it all-you get rid of one bag each day. It could be to throw away, pack up for storage or to donate. Also the bag could be a box.
This seems doable for me. But I will probably need something like 140 bags in 140 days just to get rid of this mess. Or maybe I should just call Hoarders. No seriously, I need to nip this in the bud before it becomes a serious problem. Because it's already halfway there.
So that's pretty much where I stand right now. I'm going to try to execute this plan to the best of my ability. I have to understand that if I miss a day that it's oka. I just have to jump right back in where I left off.
Pray for me.